030523A
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I cannot say
and I cannot say it is
going particularly well
though it is going
even if going nowhere
other than going around
in dwindled circles.

The crowd thinned
to next to nothing left
and the flock dying out
due to unknown causes
the making of plans
rendered redundant
becomes far too trivial.

We tell our usual lies
self promoting
our common deceptions
in between consigned
to watching a few more
tawdry little spectacles
disguised as entertainment.

No one does anything
that used to be done
in any satisfying ways
and we are given our selves
to take all the blame
for how it has all changed
into less than truly pleasant.

Seems interesting people
no longer actually shop
at the same outlets
that we are given to frequent
creating serious doubts
about their actual existence
in these times have changed.

Do nothings have taken control
of the social slaughterhouse
stamping and signing
those endless declarations
that define what is unwanted
outside of common and tedious
mass market produced things.

We become witnesses
to the death of the individual
and that new epiphany
that sanctifies and prepares
for the artificial and robotic
takeovers of action, reaction
and of love and consciousness.

It is no longer your choice
and they tell you it never was
so you keep tangling the strings
until the hand that jerks you around
threatens to not feed you
for being too much trouble
as it fingers your ugliness and faults.

It is only your non conformity
that then keeps you nearly alive
even if everything falls short
of being anything to be realized
as anything that is truly living
in terms of being experience
that could escape the ordinary.

It is the excess of ordinary
that is really killing us slowly
and some eventually decide
to make their quick exits
by the few remaining doors
that let them out of the same old
more, and more, of the same.

Existence having been reduced
down to being a revolving door
at the entrance to a department store
where you are shown everything
that you can possibly have
but mostly cannot really afford
for showing off to make friends.

Why does it matter if it is going
and where it is going to
or if it is going anywhere at all
and in a million years
where has it all gone to
so where is it all going to go
in a million years from now.

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130523A
-----------

It is only to shoot you down
as to what they are up to
while slathering what they think
is your ego and vanity
in a fattening up for a kill.

All that buttered up for nothing
more than browning your roast
while pretending to eat up
everything that you say or do
while they sharpen their knives.

They do not trust you at all
because they know you
having had the experience before
that makes it all more hollow
than a hollow sort of victory.

No one really wins anything
until the clown show ends
and even then it is nothing
more than a booby prize
that is really for the birds.

It gets to that point
where you no longer care
what they happen to say
because you no longer believe
even one stale word of it.

Then they cut you off
and for them it is a slice
that does not give a damn
about the raw or the cooked
side of any of your ideas.

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170523A
-----------

It is the various decisions
other people make
that ruin it all for you
but you take all the blame.

That makes you feel real
and it makes them into illusions
that you chanced to create
in your own sick imagination.

They could never be like that
and what were you thinking
in that sick mind of yours
that thinks ill of any of them.

You know there is no one
who is ever really the way
that you think that they are
and you will never get it right.

You disassociate yourself
and you lock yourself in
to a mandatory privacy bubble
with whatever you do not need.

There you commune with the dead
immersed in what they left behind
then they packed it in
at having had and lost too much.

There is a war, there is a war
between anyone about anything
that breaks out anywhere
where you least expected it.

You needed something different
but you never knew what it was
and if you ever do know anything
it is too late to make any difference.

They do not want you to know
but they want to know
anything you keep to yourself
so they can talk about you.

Whatever it is that they say
that they never say to your face
is deforming your future for you
in sleazy back room discussions.

Given the sort of mental deformity
that perfectly suits a bell ringer
dangled from the clanger
that clangs annoyingly on high.

People still get rubbed out
but rarely the old school way
so most get to experience more
of what is now called cancel culture.

No need to even try
because that is the trouble
and it all begins right there
with trying to get somewhere.

You notice the people who never try
all appear to be more popular
and they seem to have the money
that you can never find any of.

Part of the disincentive system
that helps promote gambling and vice
along with other similar rackets
as the more popular pastimes.

Everyone else is terrified of you
because you failed to take that slide
that coasts down easy hill
and they do not want to work at it.

You are not going anywhere
that you could ever want to go
but that too is a choice
someone said that you made.

You thought you had the time
to somehow figure it all out
counting up the knots
and toying with the abacus.

You once counted rosary beads
but it was nothing religious
beyond another little episode
of playing at another pop culture.

You add up the sum of friends
that you could actually afford
and then you realize the fact
you are still massaging debts.

Whatever it really was
it did not get you in
any further than stale rumours
of their fabulous parties.

They decided your spend
was nowhere near enough
and word got around
what a cheapskate you are.

You thought you really could
make it all up to yourself
to get on your feet forward
but that is not the way it works.

Someone else got there first
to make a complete mess of it all
so then they dirtied you up
with all that futile clean up.

You never found your luck
and there were no lucky breaks
but in between attempts
you could put up a pretense.

You live on that borderline
of condemned for pretending
and not being taken for real
no matter how you do it.

They never want the reality
so you feed them an illusion
that you keep just for them
knowing they expect that.

Every path you were on
you had to dance along
to a different drummer
but no one played your song.

If you could play it yourself
you know no one would listen
as they hate any one man band
as something too annoying.

They will not dance to your tune
and you cannot dance to their's
but even if you could go that far
they would never dance with you.

Nowadays they refer to all that
in entirely different words
as the pursuit of happiness
saying you have to be happy.

There is no choice about that
that you have to be happy
and if you are not totally happy
there is something wrong with you.

Complaints department is closed
and the guarantees expired long ago
so there is no money back
no matter how you beg or work for it.

There is no place for discontent
among today's little mobs
resembling animated emulations
of officially catalogued influencers.

You can wallow in the digital mud
covering yourself with it
trying to not be recognized
as anything they hate you to be.

Follow the bouncing tweets
and talk like the characters
that are seen on the screens
of what now passes as culture.

What can you do now
when doing is so unpopular
and if you do anything
you will be doing it alone.

Particularly if it is anything
that is not being done by the others
who all try to do the same things
to not upset factory production.

You will never make it
as to making anyone happy
because it is a sell out crowd
where you can never belong.

You never made the right choices
whatever those actually were
and it has been a very long time
since you thought that you knew.

You came from a gone world
and your species was wiped out
or maybe you were wiped out
and they all moved on from there.

You are that mutant thing
that has no idea where it belongs
having missed the last train
that carried off all of the evolved.

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180523A
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